Thursday, March 15, 2007
Like a Damb Pig
It was the fall of 2003. After spending the summer living in 8G^(-1) and working with Sheila (best co-worker ever) I was off to UNB to finish my degree. I was living with Roger Gillis and Jeff Malone on Dirty old Needham street.
We had ordered our internet connection from aliant (I think?) and being 3 technological tools at the time we couldn't figure out how to hook it up. A box came one day from Aliant claiming to have internet in it but the question was could this one box possibly contain enough internet for our whole appartment. We tried to install it and couldn't figure it out for the life of us. We could get internet on Roger's computer but couldn't get the router to talk to the computers in Jeff's room and my room.
We were in "Big Poppa" Abdel Elsaway's class, "Design Zero" when our prayers were answered. In walked a fellow student who looked like a pig, I shit you not a real honest to goodness pig. We explained our woa's to "Pig Man" (who we later found out was like 30 years old and that sort of creeped us out) and he agreed to come over and spread the box of internet around the appartment for us.
He came over one day after school and sat down at Roger's machine and checked a few settings and then declared "I'm going to have to ping your router." This sounded pretty scarey to me because I didn't know what the hell pinging was, or even a router for that matter. And remember, this guy looked like a fucking pig. The tone of his voice was serious enough that I knew he wasn't joking and to be honest I was getting pretty nervous. The expression on his face told me that whatever pinging my router was it was some serious shit.
It turned out it wasn't a big deal at all and he got our internet hooked up right away. I payed him 2o dollars for his troubles and gave him a drive home to the North Side. On the way there he confided in me that he finds big breasts disgusting. To be honest that sort of scarred me for life, I prefer to think of Pig Man as a very non-sexual creature. He went on to ask me how we had landed such a sweet appartment and did I know how he could get such a nice one? This also bugged me because I knew our place was so disgusting that if he liked it he must live in a really bad spot.
Later Jeff and I realized that Pig Man must obviously be into eating human babies. Nothing else could make him look so much like a pig.
There's some great story tellers in this world we live in but really could anyone make this shit up? Ask Jeff. Ask him! He'll confirm my story!
Like a damb pig.
We had ordered our internet connection from aliant (I think?) and being 3 technological tools at the time we couldn't figure out how to hook it up. A box came one day from Aliant claiming to have internet in it but the question was could this one box possibly contain enough internet for our whole appartment. We tried to install it and couldn't figure it out for the life of us. We could get internet on Roger's computer but couldn't get the router to talk to the computers in Jeff's room and my room.
We were in "Big Poppa" Abdel Elsaway's class, "Design Zero" when our prayers were answered. In walked a fellow student who looked like a pig, I shit you not a real honest to goodness pig. We explained our woa's to "Pig Man" (who we later found out was like 30 years old and that sort of creeped us out) and he agreed to come over and spread the box of internet around the appartment for us.
He came over one day after school and sat down at Roger's machine and checked a few settings and then declared "I'm going to have to ping your router." This sounded pretty scarey to me because I didn't know what the hell pinging was, or even a router for that matter. And remember, this guy looked like a fucking pig. The tone of his voice was serious enough that I knew he wasn't joking and to be honest I was getting pretty nervous. The expression on his face told me that whatever pinging my router was it was some serious shit.
It turned out it wasn't a big deal at all and he got our internet hooked up right away. I payed him 2o dollars for his troubles and gave him a drive home to the North Side. On the way there he confided in me that he finds big breasts disgusting. To be honest that sort of scarred me for life, I prefer to think of Pig Man as a very non-sexual creature. He went on to ask me how we had landed such a sweet appartment and did I know how he could get such a nice one? This also bugged me because I knew our place was so disgusting that if he liked it he must live in a really bad spot.
Later Jeff and I realized that Pig Man must obviously be into eating human babies. Nothing else could make him look so much like a pig.
There's some great story tellers in this world we live in but really could anyone make this shit up? Ask Jeff. Ask him! He'll confirm my story!
Like a damb pig.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Woa! Gotta start watching that!
For those who don't know I spend 90% of my money through my visa. One nice side effect is that my statements show a window into my monthly spending. I just realized something shocking - I spend 50% as much money on fast food as on groceries! This trend has held for 2 months that I checked! My typical weekend routine consists of brunch out saturday morning with the powerlifters and supper out also with some friends. Also on Wednesday night I usually go to William's coffee pub with one of my fellow coaches from Special Olympics. These 3 times a week add up to half a grocery order! Ouchy! This week I might hit myself up with a tighter fast food budget. Not that I can't afford it, I really can. It's just that I should be spending the money on things that would last longer like new clothes and books/dvd's that I want.
I feel like a fool for spending so much money at William's. It's such a sham!
I feel like a fool for spending so much money at William's. It's such a sham!
Thursday, March 01, 2007
WINTER DRIVING TIPS
It's storming out pretty good right now in Waterloo and I just drove home from the gym. This is going to be a post of me venting my frustrations about things I see on the roads here this winter. I have developed a theory that people who grew up in places with lots of snow make good winter drivers and people who grew up in places with little snow do not. My disclaimer is that most of you reading this blog are from PEI, maybe a few blue nosers or haren chokers also, and I'm not mad at your driving I'm mad at other people's driving.
1. Be Gentle for crying out loud!
Those of you who took a physics course sometime probably remember that for an object of fixed mass (your car) bigger acceleration requires bigger force. The snow and ice in wintertime basically means you MUST expect your car to have a lower maximum gripping force on the road. Simply put you must be GENTLE with your moves. Expect to speed up, slow down, and turn at lower rates than in dry weather.
2. DON'T SLAM THAT FU*$ING GAS PEDAL!
EVER!
DON'T DO IT!
This is EXACTLY the same as point #1 but it's the most important point and I think it's possible my physics talk could confuse some people so I'm restating my point in non-science lingo. "Your car WILL NOT grip the road as well if you press the gas hard" You should press it softer than you do on dry roads. BECAUSE I SAID SO DAMB YOU!
3. You do not "need" a big truck or an SUV. What you need is a set of good tires and some driving lessons. If there's more than a couple hours per year when you can't get where you're going it's because you suck at driving, not because you drive a small car. I had a 4 wheel drive truck in high school and now I have a small compact car and I can still go where I want to go.
"It's slippery out, I better smash the gas pedal really hard so my car can push itself forward better"..... Smart like a box of rocks.
1. Be Gentle for crying out loud!
Those of you who took a physics course sometime probably remember that for an object of fixed mass (your car) bigger acceleration requires bigger force. The snow and ice in wintertime basically means you MUST expect your car to have a lower maximum gripping force on the road. Simply put you must be GENTLE with your moves. Expect to speed up, slow down, and turn at lower rates than in dry weather.
2. DON'T SLAM THAT FU*$ING GAS PEDAL!
EVER!
DON'T DO IT!
This is EXACTLY the same as point #1 but it's the most important point and I think it's possible my physics talk could confuse some people so I'm restating my point in non-science lingo. "Your car WILL NOT grip the road as well if you press the gas hard" You should press it softer than you do on dry roads. BECAUSE I SAID SO DAMB YOU!
3. You do not "need" a big truck or an SUV. What you need is a set of good tires and some driving lessons. If there's more than a couple hours per year when you can't get where you're going it's because you suck at driving, not because you drive a small car. I had a 4 wheel drive truck in high school and now I have a small compact car and I can still go where I want to go.
"It's slippery out, I better smash the gas pedal really hard so my car can push itself forward better"..... Smart like a box of rocks.
